I think one of the biggest signs of maturity is recognizing the difference between the world as we would like it to be and the world as it actually is. One way is to look at life like a spurring partner who will knock the wind out of you every so often but that’s only because he wants to see you do better.
There are a few hard truths that are difficult to swallow but will make life easier, even better once accepted.
#1: Life is suffering
This was a huge part of Buddha’s teaching which is hardly what we would expect from a transcendent revelation. Even The Christ, the bringer of the Good News, was betrayed, humiliated and crucified for his troubles.
Life is suffering and the quicker you accept this truth the easier you can get on with your life. The question isn’t how to escape suffering but rather how to transcend the suffering. You don’t get to choose whether or not you will have a hard time with this thing we call life. That issue was decided for you before the beginning of time.
I am inclined to agree with philosopher Albert Camus when he said;
“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy.”
The challenge is to figure out what kind of life you would have to live to transcend suffering and to feel that your existence still means something regardless of the pain inflicted on you by life. To answer this question is to be liberated. The good news of the Buddha and The Christ is that it is possible to live life in such as way that transcends suffering.
#2: Life Isn’t Meant for Happiness
Our culture puts happiness at the highest of human pursuits and I don’t think it is by accident. The idea that we can possess happiness by parting with a little (or a lot) of money is what keeps out economy going. Happiness has also been cheapened to mean pleasure and amusement. To think that we are merely here to amuse ourselves is an insult to human intelligence.
Studies have already shown that happiness cannot be arrived at through conscious effort. It appears that happiness is reached by accident or occurs spontaneously like wild mushrooms. It is possible to cultivate a life that makes the spontaneous arrival of happiness as close to certain as the world allows but beyond that the pursuit of happiness is an illusion.
I think a more accurate way of seeing life is as a series of never ending complex and simple problems. Your job is to identify and solve these problems and this is where happiness and meaning is to be had. You life gets easier as you get better at solving your problems.
#3: Life Isn’t Fair
In an ideal world life would be fair but it isn’t and it never will be. The sooner you accept this the better you can loosen the grip of moral indignation.
That boss that is making your life miserable will most likely live a long, prosperous and happy life. We don’t know why life is the way it is. I like to think that it is because I have no capacity to understand what life truly is like. Maybe to a god life is perfectly just.
We know barely anything about how our minds work or what’s really going on in the oceans yet we believe we can make absolute judgments about the nature of reality.
All I know is life isn’t fair. The why isn’t important; it is what it is.
#4: You’re not as good as you think you Are
We live in a tricky time. It is more important today to look good than to be good. We act as if being good is better than common sense or truth itself. We are more concerned about not offending than we are about expressing ourselves as free agents.
Speak the truth and do what you think is right. The moment that you are put in a position where you have to defend your character is the moment that you know the conversation has degenerated beyond saving.
Words like misogynist, racist, ignorant, intolerant and biased are used as weapons to destroy unpopular opinion.
There is also this ridiculous prevailing attitude that the entire world has to agree on every single issue. A group of people have crowned themselves the gatekeepers of morality, goodness and truth and anyone who dissents is sub-human and is to be treated as such.
Make the quest for truth the guiding principle in your life and don’t bow to pressure to conform to the popular opinion. At best you are correct or at worse you are an idiot. Either way; do not allow yourself to be bullied into a different position if you have determined as a free thinking agent that you are right.
On the other hand, always be willing to have your mind changed as soon as a more correct or truthful opinion presents itself. Changing your mind about some serious issue or opinion is actually a sign of growth rather than a weakness of character.
#5: The Truth is rarely pretty
The biggest surprise about the truth is how different it is from what we imagine. Fact is indeed stranger than fiction. We put truth on a pedestal as the all divine, all transcendent and all powerful something that soothes our weary souls. This may be correct but pretty, convenient, palatable or beautiful are hardly words that anyone could use to describe the truth.
Truth is a hard, brutal and coarse thing that doesn’t care about our feelings or our ideals or our wishes of what the truth should be. Once we see the truth we are immediately put in a position to accept it or reject. Neither position affects the truth in the slightest. You had better believe that the truth is as solid and unshakable as Everest.
You should only go after the truth if you have the stomach for it and are ready to submit.
On The Way to Find the Way 