Hard Truths about Life That Could Liberate You

I think one of the biggest signs of maturity is recognizing the difference between the world as we would like it to be and the world as it actually is. One way is to look at life like a spurring partner who will knock the wind out of you every so often but that’s only because he wants to see you do better.

There are a few hard truths that are difficult to swallow but will make life easier, even better once accepted.

#1: Life is suffering

This was a huge part of Buddha’s teaching which is hardly what we would expect from a transcendent revelation. Even The Christ, the bringer of the Good News, was betrayed, humiliated and crucified for his troubles.

Life is suffering and the quicker you accept this truth the easier you can get on with your life. The question isn’t how to escape suffering but rather how to transcend the suffering. You don’t get to choose whether or not you will have a hard time with this thing we call life. That issue was decided for you before the beginning of time.

I am inclined to agree with philosopher Albert Camus when he said;

“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy.”

The challenge is to figure out what kind of life you would have to live to transcend suffering and to feel that your existence still means something regardless of the pain inflicted on you by life. To answer this question is to be liberated. The good news of the Buddha and The Christ is that it is possible to live life in such as way that transcends suffering.

#2: Life Isn’t Meant for Happiness

Our culture puts happiness at the highest of human pursuits and I don’t think it is by accident. The idea that we can possess happiness by parting with a little (or a lot) of money is what keeps out economy going. Happiness has also been cheapened to mean pleasure and amusement. To think that we are merely here to amuse ourselves is an insult to human intelligence.

Studies have already shown that happiness cannot be arrived at through conscious effort. It appears that happiness is reached by accident or occurs spontaneously like wild mushrooms. It is possible to cultivate a life that makes the spontaneous arrival of happiness as close to certain as the world allows but beyond that the pursuit of happiness is an illusion.

I think a more accurate way of seeing life is as a series of never ending complex and simple problems. Your job is to identify and solve these problems and this is where happiness and meaning is to be had. You life gets easier as you get better at solving your problems.

#3: Life Isn’t Fair

In an ideal world life would be fair but it isn’t and it never will be. The sooner you accept this the better you can loosen the grip of moral indignation.

That boss that is making your life miserable will most likely live a long, prosperous and happy life. We don’t know why life is the way it is. I like to think that it is because I have no capacity to understand what life truly is like. Maybe to a god life is perfectly just.

We know barely anything about how our minds work or what’s really going on in the oceans yet we believe we can make absolute judgments about the nature of reality.

All I know is life isn’t fair. The why isn’t important; it is what it is.

#4: You’re not as good as you think you Are

We live in a tricky time. It is more important today to look good than to be good. We act as if being good is better than common sense or truth itself. We are more concerned about not offending than we are about expressing ourselves as free agents.

Speak the truth and do what you think is right. The moment that you are put in a position where you have to defend your character is the moment that you know the conversation has degenerated beyond saving.

Words like misogynist, racist, ignorant, intolerant and biased are used as weapons to destroy unpopular opinion.

There is also this ridiculous prevailing attitude that the entire world has to agree on every single issue. A group of people have crowned themselves the gatekeepers of morality, goodness and truth and anyone who dissents is sub-human and is to be treated as such.

Make the quest for truth the guiding principle in your life and don’t bow to pressure to conform to the popular opinion. At best you are correct or at worse you are an idiot. Either way; do not allow yourself to be bullied into a different position if you have determined as a free thinking agent that you are right.

On the other hand, always be willing to have your mind changed as soon as a more correct or truthful opinion presents itself. Changing your mind about some serious issue or opinion is actually a sign of growth rather than a weakness of character.

#5: The Truth is rarely pretty

The biggest surprise about the truth is how different it is from what we imagine.  Fact is indeed stranger than fiction. We put truth on a pedestal as the all divine, all transcendent and all powerful something that soothes our weary souls. This may be correct but pretty, convenient, palatable or beautiful are hardly words that anyone could use to describe the truth.

Truth is a hard, brutal and coarse thing that doesn’t care about our feelings or our ideals or our wishes of what the truth should be. Once we see the truth we are immediately put in a position to accept it or reject. Neither position affects the truth in the slightest. You had better believe that the truth is as solid and unshakable as Everest.

You should only go after the truth if you have the stomach for it and are ready to submit.

5 Lessons from Some of History’s Most Bad Ass Quotes

Every few years there comes a long a man or woman who spews wisdom and shows a total lack of regard for danger. It is said that the brave only die but once but the coward dies many deaths. Life can be difficult and nothing short of a strong character will see you through.

Many of the bad-ass quotes have been dropped during violent times, like this one from when the Mongols were pursuing their agenda for world domination with devilish single-mindedness.

“I am the punishment of God…If you had not committed great sins; God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.”- Genghis Khan

Still, there are many quotes that we can learn lessons from and apply to our day-to-day life.

On Equanimity

“Now, now my good man, this is no time to be making enemies.”– (Voltaire on his death bed in response to a priest asking him to renounce the devil and all his works.)

Life is unpredictable and uncertain and the quicker one accepts this idea the easier life gets. Unfortunately, bad things happen. The world is fraught with danger and misfortune that positive thinking and a good attitude will not be enough to see you through.

Equanimity is the ability to keep a cool head even when there is no rational reason to be calm. No one has better charge of his emotions like Voltaire in this quote. It is hard to imagine a more difficult, uncertain and perilous time than when one comes face to face with his mortality.

Voltaire keeps his cool when it mattered most and even adding some humour for good measure. The lesson here is to keep calm in times of uncertainty.

On Confidence

“When I was a child my mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general. If you become a monk, you’ll be the pope.’ Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.”- Pablo Picasso

There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance but I personally would err on the side of arrogance than live as a victim of circumstances.

I think that humility isn’t shrinking yourself but rather admitting that you do not know the full limits of your capacity. The truly arrogant are those who decide, even before they try, that some goal or other is not achievable.

Confidence will take you a long way in this life. To be truly competent you have to first see yourself as worthy of the task.

On Focus

“Don’t fear failure – Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” – Bruce Lee

What you focus on expands. If your focus is on being mediocre or just doing enough so there is no risk of failing rest assured that life match your efforts. Failure isn’t as terrible as people make it out to be.

Life is challenging and more so when you aim high. Keep your focus on what’s important right now and take every step at its time. Failure is disappointing but it does not compare to carrying the knowledge that you are not all that you could be.

Who you could be is just as real as who you are currently. Your conscience is a far more ruthless judge than failure.

On Time Management

“I say, let no one rob me of a single day who isn’t going to make a full return on the loss.”– Seneca

It is easy to lose your time to people in this digital age we live in. We have phone calls/emails/IM’s/texts and all kinds of communications to deal with.

A good rule of thumb is to remember that your phone is there for your convenience. Unless you are involved in emergency response, those communications aren’t that urgent. Aside from your work/family obligations, which should still be kept within reason, your time is yours and you shouldn’t give it away frivolously. You wouldn’t give away your money or possessions to just anyone so time being your most precious resource should be protected accordingly.

The same applies to you. Opportunities abound to waste your own time so do each thing at its appropriate time. Disciplining your time is one of the greatest skills you can muster in this distracted age.

On Fortitude

“My centre is giving way; my right is in retreat, situation excellent. I attack.”- Ferdinand Forch

Finally, there are times when life comes crashing down and you can’t figure it out. Self pity isn’t going to help the situation. Defiance, like all character traits, has its time. There are moments when the best thing you can do is to push back and push hard.

Life will overwhelm you if you let it.  Keep your head high during difficult times and you will be in a better place to work your way out of the fire. Life works out. Always. It doesn’t always work out the way you hoped or planned but it always works out. Stay strong and don’t let life think that it can push you around.

What is your favourite bad-ass quote?

 

Why Having a Vision Board Might Be the Best Decision You Make This Year

If you are anticipating words like ‘law of attraction’, ‘manifesting’ and other words that fit under the category of Woo-Woo, I warn you that you will be sorely disappointed. Though I do believe in the power of intention, subconscious mind, attraction and all that Jazz, I like to tread the thin line between the metaphysical and the material (as in matter).

If you aren’t sure what exactly a vision board is, it is basically a picture collage of the things you want stuck on a white board, or as I do it, stuck with glue stick in a blank drawing book. I prefer the latter option since I like to keep a lot of things private, including my projections of the future.

I’ve made it a habit to peruse my picture book of desires every morning before work but if you want an actual board where you can see it often, that’s great too.

So why exactly do you need a vision board?

Make Your Goals Concrete

Creating a vision board is one step towards your goals the same way picking out tile colors is one step towards remodeling your house. Taking the time to think about the things that you want, printing out pictures and sticking them to your board is a physical task that shows some seriousness.

Its one thing to know that you should work harder, be more creative, and create a second source of income and so on but these aren’t compelling enough reasons to actually do these things. I find that going through my vision board every morning gives me concrete reasons to actually exert myself and try hard.

Giving your goals physical representation rather than have them rattling around in your mind give you a sense of responsibility. You don’t need to debate with yourself why you should wake up earlier or read that personal finance book or save perfectly good beer money. Creating a better life requires sacrifices and it is often difficult to justify these sacrifices when all you have is a vague idea of why you need to do the right thing.

It also goes without saying that you aren’t going to live your dream life if you don’t have a dream life to begin with. You aren’t going to magically stumble on your ideal life. A vision board is a great way to create a clear picture of what you actually want out of life.

Positively Influence Current Actions

Our actions stem from our thoughts of what we consider is good for us. Good doesn’t necessarily mean what is right in an objective sense but what is right in the context of the end you have in mind. If you want to have a good time, going out to get drunk with your best friend is a good thing. If you want to crush an early morning interview, going out with your best friend isn’t the appropriate thing to do given that you also want to have a good time in the moment.

If you are shortsighted, so shall your actions be. Your vision board if taken seriously might be just what you need to determine appropriate action in the present. Willpower is finite and it is difficult to deny yourself what would be good for you in the moment unless you have some future objective that hinges on your acting contrary to your most immediate desire.

Most people aren’t disciplined because that’s who they are, but rather because their larger objectives require them to behave in a certain way in the present.

Good for Perspective

A vision board can be overwhelming especially if you don’t have a step-by-step plan for getting all the things you want. Make it a habit to post everything you desire including the little things. If you can’t afford it now but intend to get it with your next paycheck, stick it.

Tick off every item you get from your board. Seeing the ticks accumulating is a deeply satisfying experience. You will notice that you get things that you didn’t think would happen until a much further date if at all.

It is easy to conclude that what hasn’t happened up until this point will never happen. Ticking off your desires is a good reminder that luck, chance, providence and other powers beyond your rational thought faculty are at play in the universe.

You might also discover that getting the things you want out of life isn’t that difficult after all.

Discipline Your Desires

We live in a materialistic world which isn’t bad in and of itself. Every day we are faced with evidence of the things that we lack. You see a nice Mercedes and you want one. A nice GTR swooshes by and that’s something else you don’t have. A pimp stick, 80 inch flat screen, yacht – there is no shortage of things that would be nice to have.

It is easy to overestimate just how much you don’t have if you have no idea what you actually want. Every nice thing you see will be another reminder of how you fall short of the glory of capitalism.

Once you have a vision board set up, try to confine your desires to these things. You can always add more things as you go along but the task itself is just difficult enough to make you reconsider whether that thing is really worth having. A good mental picture of your desires is insurance against the nasty habit of wanting everything. You can’t have everything but you can have plenty for a content, even happy life.

Bonus: Impulse Buying Becomes Sort of a Good Thing

It’s hard to be disciplined with money especially if you don’t have a lot of experience in this area. Impulse buying is almost always a bad thing but it doesn’t have to be. If you have a windfall or extra cash it is easy to spend it on two-for-the-price-of-one gold plated colanders that strain strobe-lit liquid of every color in the rainbow.

A vision board increases the chance that your impulse buys will be things that you actually want in the first place. You might also be surprised to find that thing you wanted is half price and you just happen to have the money. The point is, frivolous spending is almost a guarantee every so often so why not have the things you truly want?

Vision boards aren’t just for ‘those people’. A vision board is a great way to compress your life’s ambition in a way that is easy to understand. It is a great way to organize your plans and ambitions and give physical representation to your desires and goals.